Resistance
by ShyFangirl
Summary: OUAT. Swan Queen. Regina and Emma have a confusing relationship. IS their relationship more than just sleeping together? Or do they both crave something more?
1. Chapter 1

"You know, we really should stop doing this."

"And yet, you keep returning to me, Swan." She buttoned up her blouse, peering over to see Emma make a grab for her leather jacket. Emma wasn't making eye contact. Again. Every time they slept together, it was the same. Emma wanted it, she really did, and she would make Regina feel special; made her feel wanted.

Made her feel like she wasn't a monster.

But only for one night. In the morning it was all over. The facade shattered like a mirror, and Regina would be left feeling so alone all over again. Feeling so ashamed by the way Emma wouldn't meet her eye. The pit in her stomach swelling with every passing moment of stubborn silence.

At night they were electric. Moving together. Fluently passionate; thrilling, exciting, beautiful. Alive. In the morning, it felt like reality crashed down on them. The fire they shared drowned by the dawn. Emma would be up, awake, changing before Regina's eyes.

Regina would accept it.

"We can stop... if that's what you really want." Regina finally said it. The thought escaped her lips. She was done feeling used. "But you're always the one that comes to find me."

There was a pause. Silence filled the air. Emma flicked the hair out of her collar, straightening out her jacket. She sighed, glancing back at Regina.

Regina's raven black hair was still a little messy from Emma's constant caresses. Her pencil skirt hugged her thighs and waist in a way that Emma struggled not to admire. Leaving was always painful, even if Emma didn't quite know why.

"It won't happen again," was all she muttered when she left Regina there. Alone. 


	2. Chapter 2

With everything that had happened between them, Regina was surprised they had time to be together. They'd never had sex at Emma's, though. The Charmings, being as sickeningly in love as they were, would notice something was going on. Neither Emma or Regina were exactly quiet lovers. It was rare they did it at Regina's, what with Henry being present. But, when Henry stayed with Emma, they would take advantage of the empty Mill home. Regina leading a desperate Emma to her bedroom, smirking at how much Emma needed to kiss her every few seconds.

Usually, their favourite place was the Mayor's office. It was the perfect place for their secret to play out each time. Even if Regina wasn't exactly sure what that secret was. Did she even like Emma in that way? She obviously liked her _that_ way. Sexually, that is. But... she was so crushed every time Emma left her. Whenever she acted distant... Today, Emma made an extra effort to avoid her. At _Granny's_ , Emma suddenly got up and left as soon as Regina showed her face. When she needed to see David about Gold, Emma got up from her desk "for air."

The game they were playing was fun, but the Regina always felt like the loser by the end. She got hurt each time. She didn't even _know_ how Emma felt half the time.

Regina blinked back the tears that were willing their way into her eyes. She wouldn't cry. Not over someone as careless as Emma. Not now. If there was one thing Regina was, it was not pathetic.

Emma, meanwhile, was trying everything she could do to forget about Regina. She looked through each file for some cold case she could solve. She asked her mum is there was anything she needed help with. She asked Henry if he wanted help with his homework. But nothing was taking up her time or her mind. Regina was far too distracting a topic.

Last night was so... close. Too intimate. She blushed, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

 _Not now_ , she told herself.

She didn't need to think about the way Regina would gently drag her nails down Emma's back. She didn't want to think about how the soft hair pulling changed to harsh and passionate tugs with Regina. She especially didn't need reminding about how she got the many hickies that dotted her neck and thighs.

Emma exhaled a shaky breath. She couldn't do this right now.

The pain in Regina's eyes the other morning. The way her voice trembled when she spoke. Emma hadn't meant to hurt her. Not like that. But she needed to leave. She couldn't deal with whatever was happening between them. Whatever it was she wanted. Or what Regina might want.

"Fuck," Emma groaned, her head falling into her hands.

She needed to talk to Regina. Urgently.


	3. Chapter 3

Emma didn't know if this was a good idea. She stood outside the Mayor's office, taking a deep breath before knocking and entering.

Regina stared at her. She wore a deep red blouse and black pencil skirt. Her blazer fitted her so well, her curves catching Emma's eye immediately. She swallowed.

Now was the time to talk, not... that.

"Regina, I-"

"If this is about Gold, Swan-"

"It's not."

Regina's eyes searched Emma's, while Emma clenched her fists struggling for the right words to appear.

"It's about us."

"Emma..."

"No, we need to talk," she replied curtly. Too many times had they remained silent on the subject. Both were lost. That was evident. Emma wanted to know, really, deeply, needed to know, how Regina felt. Did she care? Did Emma care if she cared? If she didn't?

"We... keep doing this. A lot. And I don't know what it means to you, or how it feels. Regina, how..." she took a shaky breath. "How do you feel about me?"

Regina regarded Emma. She always seemed to calm, too controlled. But this time, Regina could see how nervous she was. And it made her heart ache. But, there was a small part of Regina that remained empty; cynical.

Emma leaned over and kissed Regina when she didn't reply. Regina didn't react, but Emma pushed harder, her hand slipping into her raven hair. Regina couldn't handle how much she felt used. She snapped.

"Swan, if this is an attempt at screwing me in the office again, it's not working."

Emma blinked. "No. It's not. I-"

"Emma, I don't want to right now." She looked away from Emma, tears threatening to well in her eyes. She wouldn't cry in front of the saviour. "Stop kissing me, I have work to do."

"Regina-"

"Get out."

Regina had already strided over to her desk, laying her hands out flat on the desk, while Emma stood there, aghast. She stared at her reflection in the desk, the tears clearly glimmering back. The pain judging her 'why would you do this to yourself again?'

Emma didn't speak when she left. All Regina could do to not turn around and reveal how weak she was was by staring at her pathetic reflection. When the door clicked shut, she let herself break down. The tears, once only a reflection, splashed the polished surface of the desk.

Emma remained outside the office for a few minutes. She could hear the hushed cries of Regina from inside. She trembled, a pit forming in her stomach, knowing that she had hurt Regina again. She couldn't stop hurting her. It was all she could offer Regina, it seemed.

Emma's hand remained on the door handle. Should she go inside? Regina would only be angrier if she did. She couldn't just leave her like that. Did she have to? Reluctantly, Emma withdrew her hand. She'd let Regina cry, let her heart break for the moment if that's what she needed. She didn't want Emma. She didn't want to hear Emma. And that's how Emma left it.

For now.


	4. Chapter 4

Regina straightened out her outfit. A navy blue dress that hugged her body. She had stopped pitying herself over the Emma situation. It was finished. They hadn't spoken to each other in over a week. Not since Emma had visited her in the office.

Emma couldn't play Regina so easily, she regretted ever letting her get this close. How could she be so naïve? After everything she had done, Regina knew weakness lived within her; breathing in remnants of life and slowly growing each day she saw Swan.

But, when there was a knock on the door, Regina couldn't help but reluctantly feel uplifted at the mere prospect that Emma was there. When she turned to see that it was in fact her, Regina couldn't help but look away immediately, determined to not let on how glad she was to see Emma in her office. Emma, on the other hands, blinked. She acted as if she had forgotten the reason for visiting Regina in the first place, taking a moment to retrace her train of thought.

"Regina, I-"

"Swan-"

"Sorry," Emma panicked, "you go first."

Regina took a moment to glance into Emma's eyes. "Emma... I want to apologise for last time. I'm not sure what we are or what we're doing. I know that this has to stop."

Emma felt her heart plummet. "Are you sure that's what you want? Because..." With a moment of silence, Emma's eyes hesitated; dragging themselves to stare directly into Regina's, who stood there, framed by the light that seeped in through the windows, an eyebrow quirked up.

"Swan, if you've come here to have sex, I'm busy."

"No!" Emma's eyes widened, eyebrows shooting up. "Never just that Regina... I need to tell you something. And I need you to listen, tell me something as well maybe."

"Well, go on," Regina urged, hand on her hip, growing impatient. Emma was too close and yet too far away all at once, it was messing with Regina's head.

Emma stood there awkwardly, searching for the words that she'd been forcing down inside her for months. How could someone like Regina be so warm and open one minute and so cold and dismissive the next?

"Regina, I don't think you understand why... we keep doing this... or what we kept doing."

Regina felt herself yearn for the feeling of Emma's hands on her waist; her breath on her neck and her eyes shining down at her. That pause during that she loved. Where Emma would look as if she cared, and where Regina was as careful to hide how much she did.

"Regina, I do care about you. You might have guessed, I don't know but... do you-"

"Emma," she whispered softly. Emma looked up to see Regina had crept closer towards her, both women directly opposite each other. "of course I care about you too."

Leaning forward, Regina waited for Emma's lips to land upon her own. But Emma waited, teasing her, making Regina reach even more, almost begging. The soft graze of Regina's lips on Emma's, however, put all thought of teasing aside as tongues melded together, breath shared and hands roamed. Emma pushing Regina back onto her desk, her soft hands sliding up Regina's skirt. "I love you, Regina."


End file.
